Here is what I presented for our Final Thesis Critiques. There is still a lot of work to be done. The shots need more variation and timing & continuity need improvement.

The critics loved the look, but couldn’t follow the story so it’s back to the cutting room and render hell for me!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH (33 MB)

In this animatic I have added more suitable monkey dialog, as well as Max’s tag on the bananas. The midterm crits enjoyed the animatic, however it was noted that the story and the father-son relationship need more clarification.

The story begins with Max’s father tending to their family banana shop while Max is busy working on a colorful, fantastic, cityscape mural. He paints with spray paint on his stone canvas, but is rudely interrupted by his father to return to his responsibilities in the shop. Max paints his signature monkey king on his mural and angrily stomps inside the shop. His father orders him to price and stock the new shipment of bananas. Max wishes he was outside working on his mural. As he looks outside at his masterpiece, his father immediately pulls down the window shade to block this distraction.

The next day, Max is reading his favorite graffiti magazine “Graffunky” at the front counter of Banana King. Several boxes of unpriced and unstocked bananas sit on the counter. His fuming father approaches Max with his teeth and fists clenched. He begins to unleash his frustration on Max and yells at him to price and stock the bananas. He picks up a banana and throws it during his temper tantrum. The banana ironically boomerangs back towards him, hits him on the head, and knocks him to the floor. Max laughs at his father’s clumsy fall, which only makes his father angrier. As he pulls himself up from the floor, he rips “Graffunky” into pieces and orders Max to get back to work. He runs outside to destroy and paint over his mural with white paint. Max grows livid and decides to rebel against his father and “tag” each of the bananas in the store. He prices and tags, and prices and tags. After tagging all of the produce in the store, customers arrive and he sells them the bananas with his signature on them.

A week later, the mail arrives with a newspaper (“Primate Post”) and magazine (“Graffunky”). The newspaper raves about Banana King’s unique bananas and branding and the magazine claims Max’s “vandalism” is the new fad in the graffiti world: Produce Tag! His father notices the monkey king tags on his bananas and grows angry because he thinks their products are ruined. Max shows him the paper and he realizes the shop is famous and they will be rich. He stops criticizing Max and celebrates because they will be rich. He walks away as Max continues reading about his new and famous role in the world of “Graffunky”.

The ending has changed and the mood is funnier and lighter. The voice over is a young man with a British accent, accompanied by Raymond Scott’s Huckleberry Duck.

I have to work on communicating the ending a bit better and try to emphasize the father/son relationship more.

The voice over is as follows:

The legendary Chinese Monkey King is known for his cunning intellect, superb fighting skills, and magical powers. He was born out of a heavenly stone and dedicated his life to obtaining immortal status. The King reached his highest level of respect after completing a challenging pilgrimage to India.

Max is the son of the Monkey King. As his 18th birthday approaches, he prepares for the SIT, the Scholastic Immortality Test. He has been studying diligently for this exam since the day he was born, as instructed by his strict father.

Everyday, Max practices in the jungle with his SIT manual.

Through the years, Max has learned how to swiftly soar through the clouds, quickly and cleverly win battles, and magically transform his hair into any object. His father applauds his efforts, all while pushing him harder because Max only has one more day to prepare.

His final step is to learn how to transform his hair into a clone of himself.

He begins to wonder why he has to become immortal at all. He does not see why this is a necessity to life, other than to make his father proud. Max fears boredom in immortality. However, his father reminds him that he does not want to be ordinary and common. As son of the Monkey King, he must be respected and feared.

Max often confides and seeks guidance in his grandfather stone. He cannot seem to master this last magic trick.

Here is a rough sketch of my first animatic. I’m not very satisfied with the ending, so that is going to change pronto. It’s too depressing, and so is my voice-over!

The voice over is as follows:

The Monkey King is a legendary figure in Chinese folklore. He exudes magical power, respect and strength. It was his determination, diligence and intellect that led him to achieve his status of immortality. He learned how to fly quickly through the clouds, cleverly outwit his opponents in battle and transform hairs from his own body into an object or even a clone of himself.

Max is the son of the Monkey King, who’s 18th birthday approaches. As decided by his father and accepted by the gods, on his 18th birthday he is to take the Scholastic Immortality Test in order to demonstrate all that his father embodies.

Max has been slowly studying since the age of 10. And has managed to somewhat successfully demonstrate his flying and fighting skills. Today he is trying to master the Body Outside Body Transformation. Unfortunately, he has been having problems and cannot turn his hairs into monkeys. His gluttonous confidant, Hank, benefits from his errors.

Failure is indeed frustrating, he does not want to disappoint his father, but his scores are less than stellar. Why is he doing this? He does not want to be immortal. An infinite amount of years will bore him. Max rather enjoys his life when he is not studying for the SIT. The mountains, the trees, the flowers, the beauty. All of this may bore him after he has grown old. What will be left to enjoy if he is to live forever?

Hank reminds him that once he passes the SIT, his life will be less stressful. And it is better to live forever. And it’s OK to make mistakes now, especially when they’re so delicious.

Max reluctantly agrees because he longs for his father’s approval. And knows that this will indeed make his father proud, to have an immortal son. He also thinks about how his father has no idea that he has no interest in obtaining immortality. And how is mother left because she did not want to raise Max as immortal, since she was immortal herself. What would it be like if he were raised by her? What does it matter? She lives in a distant land.

Max tried his magic again and failed.

The next morning Max was nowhere to be found. Hank brought a note to the King from his son. Max said he had no desire to be immortal ever and he went to find his mother. The Monkey King was extremely sad and realized that he had pushed all of his loved ones away.